To those whom this blog is dedicated (http://ManassehEphraim.blogspot.com/2012/09/jail-day-1.HTML)
To all of you who continue to pray for me and for the lies and liars to be exposed and the truth revealed, I love y'all. I miss y'all. I am OK. THANK YOU! Thank you....... It was ten years ago today, 8/22/2012, that my trial actually began. After spending 2 1/2 years out on bond/bail, dozens of pretrial hearings, Burke's motions, the six month recusal of Judge Glasco, the year long delay caused by the TPD Internal Investigation/Human Resources paperwork McAmis accidentally turned over to us, and two days of Voire Dire, the actual trial began.......thank you for standing by me then and now. It was ten years ago today that my former mother-in-law took the stand as the prosecution's first witness. It was her birthday. She was turning 76 (so today she turns 86, if she's even still alive). Her testimony did not hurt me. In fact it went well as she even said that I was a good father and husband. However, it was her allowing, encouraging, and then bribing Brandon with a new truck if he'd "run away" to her home that titillated Tim Harris and Sarah McAmis' and played right into their hands with regards to Bella Mendoza and Myrtha Mikle's weaponized false allegations. While I've forgiven Ann for that, I certainly hope that there is a price to pay for her role in this saga. If you have not read The Truth of what happened check out Manasseh-Ephraim: 9 Years (manassehephraim.blogspot.com) If you have not read my Reflection on Ann check out Manasseh-Ephraim: Our choices determine Our legacy (manassehephraim.blogspot.com). If you've forgotten about how Myrtha's lie started all of this read Manasseh-Ephraim: Truth, Justice and a Better Tomorrow (manassehephraim.blogspot.com) Thank you, again, for your mental, spiritual, emotional, and financial support back then and your continued prayers, love, and support now. I've saved some money to treat myself to a $5 pint of ice cream on my Day #3650/10 Year commemoration of my illegal and unjust incarceration on 9-1-12. (Check out my forthcoming blog on 9-1-22 to read my future Reflection on that day). Thank you for your prayers last week as I struggled with my feelings of malaise. You are so lucky have a real life and to be busy. I long to be busy once again. I have too much time on my hands. There is nothing meaningful to do here....in fact there is truly nothing to do here period. I can't wait to be freed and to find a ministry, a purpose to serve, and people to help until the day God "calls me home ". If this incarceral experience is anything close to what "retirement" is like, I want no part of it. So far today I've finished my daily morning three mile run, ordered a new interlibrary loan, showered, and eaten my "beans and greens". If I'm lucky I'll get a haircut later, run another two miles with Ryan and our developing running cadre and possibly have vocals practice (if our volunteer comes to open the chapel). (I applied to join a praise team recently and I am on a 30 day probation/trial/try out period). Anyway...... Thank you, again. All my prayers, best wishes, and warm regards. RobertPS/Note:
I entered into a time of Thanksgiving, prayer and fasting August 30th, 31st, and September 1st praising and blessing God for His peace, protection, and provision these past ten calendar years. I know that my incarceration journey has not been typical. It has had a divine ordination on it.
From the first hour of my incarceration when I woke up at 3am cuffed to a hospital bed at OSU medical until today He has set his angels around me. The Holy Spirit has encompassed me. While I don't always see it, others have mentioned that as they have observed me from across the yard that they have viewed other unseen beings walk or running along side me. Others have mentioned a lightness that often encompasses or follows me. I am frequently told that I do not belong here, that I do not carry myself or "feel like" someone needing to be locked up. I take that as a confirmation of His Word that He has never ever abandoned me here.
God saw fit to give me the privacy and protection I needed those first five months of incarceration by keeping me in solitary confinement in Tulsa County's D.L. Moss Detention Center (Pod J-11X). I needed that time to sort through my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions, and my spirit man. It was a time of deep grieving and mourning. My mind and my faith were in deep turmolt. Ironically, it was a contemporary (Avery Mears?) from Brandon's Briarglen Cub Scout Den, the Den I led for four years, that was my first CO/Guard, and the first of many law enforcement folk to tell me that they know I was treated unfairly, was most likely innocent, and to never quit fighting. There were frequent visits by volunteer chaplains, a couple of whom I must eventually personally thank for their words of encouragement and hope. In particular a rather large black fellow whom was so genuine and authentic in his concern. His weekly prayers for and with me were so genuine and heart felt.
I was/am thankful for every visit while at DLM. Mark, Mitch, and Dorothy's ministry to me was essential to my spiritual health. Being able to slowly mourn the loss of Kimberly and Monica and my parents over those 20 weeks eased the grief in my heart. Our weekly visits allowed my heart to break and harden over time rather than all at once. Being restrained by the invisible pane of that painful barrier is such a desperately hopeless feeling of defeat and disillusion. Out of that brokenness, the Holy Spirit gave birth to a seed of hope. After that small gracious glimmer of hope was in place it bolstered my faith and trust which watered and gave nourishment to that very same glimmer, fostering its growth into the hope that brings reassurance, restoration, resolution, and eventually reconciliation and restitution.
The anticipation of "pulling chains" was the worst feeling. I was/am thankful that the Lord had a few inmates Cadillac kites my way to tell me what to expect, how to present myself, how to stay off the radar and out of trouble. Number one was to never, ever, accept a gift, go to a store, or owe a debt. In ten years I never have. Since I was a non drug user I was already ahead of the game. While A and R was a 3rd world experience, I was, and am, so thankful for the Crabtree and Granite yards.
At Crabtree God surrounded me with His people: inmates and staff alike. I give the Father all the thanks for that special yard. I look back fondly on the relationships I was able to forge there, and still miss some of those folks fellow incarcerates as well as staff. I so look forward to my impending release and the eventual permission to write to them, eventually share a meal with them, and connect my ancestry tree to theirs.
I offer all thanks to my soon returning Nazarene King for the abundance of His overflowing care, compassion, and concern poured out on me the past 3653 days. I am so grateful for His Manasseh and Ephraim blessings. He has protected my heart by blocking the deep, deep pain that still ebbs within for my daughter and my parents and my son and even my former spouse. He knew I wasn't going to be able to survive this incarceration and carry that pain at the same time. He has also blessed my every need. Through my daily employment at Crabtree and more recently the love offerings of my brother and sister in Christ my hygiene, medical, and clothing needs have been met. It is said that in prison you will never starve, but you will always be hungry. I have been blessed to not only to be able to purchase an occasional canteen treat for myself, but to have soups on hand to bestow a blessing on those whom have zero outside support and find themselves hungry, cold, and alone.
I am thankful for the good reputation I have developed on the yards I have been warehoused at, the grace I've had with other inmates, the ability to be involved in substance abuse recovery, and to find favor with most "cars".
I am thankful for music. Being able to be a part of various praise teams at Crabtree was one way God healed my soul. Whether a capella or with a band, being able to worship was so important. Recently, our Securustech.net tablets have allowed me to build a small playlist of songs that keep me inspired and lifted up. It was music that got me through the few rough days at Crabtree. It was my small radio in Tulsa County, and especially those radio ministries, that kept me tethered to reality. It is the music of radio station K-LOVE that kept me running mile after mile after mile at Crabtree and Granite.
I will always and forever be thankful for the parents He has blessed me with. Parents who have never doubted me, never failed me, and never given up on me. I will always and forever be thankful to my brother and sister in Christ whom have never doubted me, never failed me, and never given up on me. God Bless You.
