Where the Heart Is

Where the Heart Is When you're without a friend And got no company World has kicked you over and over You're crying "Woe is me" Well, you're not the Lone Ranger This I know for sure If you're one who has lost everybody You may find just one more No matter how lonely you are There's someone in this world who loves you When you're tired of fighting Feel like saying "I give" And if God really loves you He's not the only one You'll discover a family you never had Before your life is done When you think you can't remember what it felt like when you had a friend You'll have one again. Our Warden's Book Club, sponsored by OKhumanities.org, read Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts last month. The song lyrics come from her book. The novel is about a woman who, in the midst of overwhelming disadvantages, finds herself forced to start her life all over again. What begins in bleakness ends in blessing. One of the takeaways that impacted me from Mrs. Letts' novel is that your heart ... your soul .... your relationships ... ebb, floe, shrink, fall off in chunks, scar over, and, thankfully, even regrow and flourish over time. Like Dora Lee, I too have left significant pieces of myself behind in my life's journey. Unlike Dora Lee, a majority of the markers I recall were extremely positive at the time. However, similar to Letts' main character, reflecting on them now, today, sometimes brings me heartache (36°07'56.4N/95°49'12.6"W, 36°02'37.6"N/95°51'40.2"W, 36°09'19.5N/95°54'01.6"W, 36°02'21.2"N/95°52'36.1"W, 33°48'44.6"N/117°55'08.2"W, 48°51'31.4"N/2°17'39.8"E, 23°09'07.2N/113°15'27.9"E, 36°04'56.2N/95°50'08.8"W, 36°07'03.5"N 95°50'39.7"W). The theme of this semesters book club is "Hope Born Out of Adversity" I realize that, like Dora Lee, I too have somehow managed to build "family" in a place that I never wanted to be, resented coming to, and would still prefer not to be living in. Yet here I am ... and I am thriving (for prison) .... and I am genuinely having positive impacts ... I am accepted respected and and appreciated and contribute to making my community the best that it can be ... and that really is all I wanted to accomplish with my life, wherever I happen to be living it. In writing about neuroplasticity and adaptability, Amy Shoethal says that setbacks set the stage for reinvention. 4566 days ago, I was afforded the opportunity to reinvent myself, and the "new" me is almost indistinguishable from the "old" me, I am just continuing to be the me I was always meant to be (see 2/9/25) but in a new location (35°45'18.1"N 95°33'17.1"W). Another of the characters in her story, Willy Jack, was a self-absorbed, money hungry liar. His deceit frees Dora Lee to restart her life on a new track. At the end of the novel, he reenters her life as a broken ne'er-do-well trying to make amends for his lies. Willy Jack makes me think of my prodigal son, Brandon, and the one lie he told (was cajoled to tell by ADA Sarah McAmis and Det. Diana Baumann). At one-point Willy Jack says to Novalee .... "Why does anyone lie? 'Cause we're scared or crazy, maybe just 'cause were mean. I guess there's a million reasons to lie, and I've told that many ... but none like that. I guess there's always that one lie we never get over. ... Maybe you never told a lie so big it can eat away part of you. But if you ever do .... and if you get lucky ... you might get a chance to set it right. Just one chance to change it. Then it's gone. And it never comes again."  

If you're ready for that chance, any of you, today is a good day. I forgave years ago, but I'll gladly accept your amends because you still are one of the places Where My Heart Is, and I still love you.