Joy without a Roof

600 days ago, my first day in jail, I never would have thought that I would be able to write about, much less experience, the joy of the fruit of the Holy Spirit that can be experienced despite the painful heartache of the circumstances that Satan creates.  

Paul lists the fruits of the Holy Spirit as self-control, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness, kindness, patience, peace, love, and joy (Galatians 5).  James encourages us to be joy-filled, even in the middle of all of our troubles (James 1:2).  Four years ago when I was first arrested and assigned my county i.d. (#1190113) God reminded me to not be tow-faced (Psalm 119:113), to have trust without worry and faith without doubt.  Eventually, He encouraged me to have hope without despair and love without condition (to include forgiving my son).  Then, even before my trial He gave me opportunities to give Him glory without reservation.  Through my initial incarceration He taught me to have peace without fear.  Now, 600 days later I realize that He has also allowed me to experience joy without a roof!

            Those first nights in county jail, as I sat there in shock and sorrow, struggling to know why God was allowing me to experience the pain of separation from my family, had a person told me that I would eventually find a place of joy-birthed from trust, faith, hope, love, glory and peace- I would have called that person crazy. However, that is exactly what I have found.

            I am beginning to have an understanding of Peter’s audacious admonishment to be joyful for the chance to suffer as Christ suffered. (I Peter 4:12). Solomon promised too that God will keep you joyful so that you won’t have time to worry about each day (Ecc 5:20).  Isaiah also foretold that the Spirit of the Lord would replace my broken heart with joyous praise. (Isaiah 61:3)

            Pharrell Williams mega hit “Happy” was a spectacular meme this spring.  As it played over and over on TV and radio I realized that I have moments of being genuinely happy, but more important that that temporary state of mind, I am joyful. As Pharrell sings it, I am “happy, life a room without a roof”.

            I miss my family terribly, and Satan wants me to feel guilty for having embraced the fruit of joy despite the separation from my wife, daughter, and son, but it is undeniable.  He has replaced my broken heart with joy as Jesus proclaims in His Nazareth Manifesto, I claim the remainder of that prophetic verse as my own truth; “that He will heal my broken heart, announce my freedom, show me kindness, give me beauty for ashes, and punish my enemies” (Luke 4) I also claim the joy of formerly imprisoned Jehoichin; to be freed, turn in these prison clothes, eat healthy food, and having all my financial needs met (2 Kings 25).

            I find increasing encouragement from this gift of joy without a roof.  Even God acknowledged our need to experience him without the obstacle of a roof.  God used Moses to instruct His people that Sukkot was a time each year to remind ourselves that it is not our possession, or positions, that make us happy.  During the Festival of Shelters (Lev. 23) we are reminded that to find contentment in a frail roofless hut with the knowledge that God is our protection is far more meaningful than to rely on the strength, safety, and security that a ceiling may provide.

The rood of a sukkah must be made out of vegetation, something that grows, to make us sensitive to those things created by God rather than through man.  The covering had to not be so thick that the Israelites could not look through the top and see the Heaven’s above, which are the true source of our protection, and our joy.  

I rejoice in that protection and joy from above.  Part of the reason that I have found a centered place of meditative joy is through continuous praise, especially by being part of various praise teams and choirs on the prison yard.

Jehoshaphat challenges us to trust and believe that the Lord will help us if we boldly use praise to lead us to success and joy (2 Chron. 20:20-27).  Being on a “yard” that is blessed with the ability to have a variety of worship experiences and to be able to serve Him through praise has been a stabilizing force in my time behind these fences.

Being on an “open, roofless yard” has helped as well.  To be able to spend time outside walking, working out, playing softball, watching the trees grow, flowers bloom, and hayfields ripen all have contributed to being joy filled and feeling less than caged.  David writes that when “I was fenced in, you freed me and rescued me because you loved me, that you were good to me because I do right, and you reward me because I am innocent” (Ps. 18)

In the middle of a situation that looked so bleak 600 days ago, like the Israelites of past and present, who continue to celebrate each fall, I look up past the false ceiling that Satan has tried to trap me under and celebrate in the joy where my protection comes from, knowing that the “truth will last forever, and lies will soon be found out; that an evil mind is deceitful, but that gentle thoughts bring joy” (Ps. 12)  I rejoice now, knowing that “when justice is done, good citizens are joyful and liars are terrified,” (Ps. 21) and that “all who are happy when I am freed will be joy filled and will proclaim ‘The Lord is wonderful.’” (Ps. 35)